Hi friends :]
Today I will be talking about a topic that soo many friends asked me about: dating in the U.S and the major differences (comparing to the South American culture). Here it is a list I made with some aspects that differ in our cultures:
1- Going out on dates
In the U.S as soon as we meet someone we like, we can be invited to go out on ”dates” which usually begins with romantic stuff, such as a dinner in a nice restaurant followed by a movie session,etc.( I particularly love the ”dates” phase, it is a nice period to get to know each other while respecting their spaces) But, in the US, sometimes people date more than one person at a time. Also, Americans like bringing fake dates do weddings or events. (Brazilians would never do that hahah)
In Brazil, we usually date people in our friends circle, that means that this person is not a total stranger (even if you are not that close with that person). The going out is much more casual, with friends around and if we like each other, the guy needs to ask if you want to be his girlfriend (and that usually happens quickly).
2- Girls/Boys night out
In the U.S, guys and woman in relationships go out with friends and co-workers (this includes clubbing, bars, strip clubs, trips, etc.) The first time my boyfriend went to a strip club with his guy friends, I couldn’t believe I wasn’t extremely angry about it. I felt a mix of weirdness, a little bit of jealously and acceptance of his culture.
In Brazil if you are in a relationship there is a rule between the lines that states that you can go out, but usually during the day and with friends of the same sex, if you go out at night, you have to let you partner know where are you going and with who. For example: If a woman is dating a man and he goes to a bbq party full of girls and he doesn’t let her know, 100% they will get to in a huge argument or even break up (especially if there is any girl she doesn’t like) .
3- Hanging out with friends of the opposite sex alone
In the U.S is common. People are much more independent and they feel they don’t need to let anyone know what they are doing. Americans love freedom and privacy. Co-workers have lunch together, old friends meet and random times and go out together.
In Brazil, it is like the night out; unless your partner knows and approves it, you should not do it if you don’t want to argue with your partner. In Brazil going out alone w a friend of the opposite sex, it is seen as extremely disrespectful.
4- Messaging/ Calling
In the U.S is not ok call more than once a day or send many texts at different times. If you do that, your partner will think you have nothing else to do and that you are extremely needy -and crazy haha.
In Brazil, couples need to update each other about what they are doing during the day. They usually call each other every day too. If you don’t text your partner for 1 or 2 days, they will pretty much think you don’t want to be with them anymore.
5- Expressing emotions
In the U.S people are much more colder. They don’t express emotions easily because they would be seen as weak. When I was living with an American family, my host mom would travel for a month, come back home and not even hug my host dad. It was sad. Also, their gifts were usually stuff for the house, like on Christmas when my host dad gifted my host mom a fire escape ladder- like that ones you can attach to the window ( I am not even joking) and a cool home phone. hahahah
In Brazil, we are very passionate. It doesn’t matter if it is to show affection or to argue, we go all the way. We can cry, scream, but we need to make our voices heard. We love showing off our affection in front of others haha Valentines day, Easter, birthdays, Christmas require a whole bunch of gifts (it always include clothing and/or beauty item and lots of chocolates) Brazilians put chocolates in almost every gift and cute handwritten cards. We love to impress our partners and organize surprises!
In the U.S couples are expected to share bills. They also don’t have a common bank account and they usually do pre-nups (maybe because the divorces rates here are incredibly high? ^^ )
In Brazil the woman can work, but it is not likely she will pay anything in house. IF she is working, she will usually use this money to take care of herself, go to spas, meet her girlfriends or make surprises for her partner. In Brazil, guys love to take care of their woman and they hate when they are way too independent.
7- Making plans
In the U.S, you can’t talk too much about what your plans for the relationship are. Here, you kind of just live the day. If you talk too much about kids, getting married or living together, they will think you are insane and want to take things to seriously before the ”right” time.
In Brazil, people always make plans, they dream so much! Even if nothing will actually happen, they will still be talking about buying a house together, traveling the world, having kids or become billionaires! haha there is no ”right” and ”wrong” they just talk what they feel like and their partner usually approves or thinks it is funny.
8- General rules of behavior
In the U.S, leaving your partner’s life alone is rule number one. They all love privacy
In Brazil, people love being dramatic and argue about lack of attention or jealously.
9- Gender roles
In the U.S, women are very aggressive and more masculine (at least in New York) . They are usually bossy, especially when they have a high paying job. Men are laid-back but very selfish. If they are in a relationship, that doesn’t mean he will give the world to you (unless you are married, with kids)
In Brazil, women are girly and raised to be a good girlfriend, wife or mother. Women are expected to cook and make sure their man is happy. Selfish people are very rare in Brazil, when you are in a relationship, everything that is yours, it is also belong to your partner.
10- Celebrating things
In the U.S people don’t really celebrate unless there is a big reason for it. I only see Americans celebrating 4th of July, Birthdays and Thanksgiving (some families celebrate Christmas too) and that is pretty much it.
In Brazil, we love, LOVEEE to party! We celebrate every month of dating, Valentine’s Day, Easter, Saint John’s (typical in the Northeast Area), Christmas, Carnival, Summer time (even though it is always summer in Brazil- December and January are the months we party the most. New Years parties can last up to 2 days and it is craaazy but so awesome!) We love organizing churrascos (bbq) for friends and random parties.